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There's good reason to polish your opening paragraphby Linda WestphalThe other day I sat down to review opening paragraphs of long-running, successful ads, letters, and brochures. One thing stood out in every piece I reviewed: a powerfully written opening paragraph. It was clear that the strong opening paragraphs contributed to the success of these pieces. If you think like a reader, you will understand why. For example, first, the reader is captured by the ad’s headline. Then the reader’s eyes drift down to the opening paragraph. If it also intrigues him and holds his attention, he will read the next paragraph, and so on, until the writer has taken the reader to the end of the ad where he is asked to take action. During my review of these ads, letters, and brochures, I noticed two obvious similarities in the opening paragraphs. They were all either one or two sentences long (one had three sentences); and, they were all as interesting as the headlines above them. It’s important to state here that holding interest is key, since the writer does not want the reader to abandon the letter or ad after he reads the opening paragraph. Therefore, the opening paragraph must be interesting. Let’s look at some examples. Would these opening paragraphs encourage you to keep reading? —“Scientists have finally cracked the mystery of the aging process!” (Rodale Press) —“Does the idea of being invited to join an exclusive Millionaire’s Club sound like an impossible dream?” (Reader’s Digest) —“I’m going to introduce to you the best way to plan and buy newspaper advertising...and help you save $130 at the same time. But first a word to the wise.” (SRDS) —“Reading is fun for Sarah--as it should be for every child. At age four-and-a-half she’s already choosing her own books at the San Diego, Cal. library.” (Career Publishing) In a sales letter In a sales letter you don’t want to open your letter with a trite statement like this (yes, this is a real example): “We are a local CPA firm that has been servicing small businesses since 1975. We would also like to help you with your day-to-day accounting transactions or business investments.” Yawn. Right? Now compare it to the four opening paragraphs above. Do you see the difference? How does it compare to the three informative, attention-grabbing opening paragraphs below? —“Yes! The Newspaper Media Library has what I need to plan and buy more effectively. I will choose either the full 3-resource library subscription or single subscription plan below:” (SRDS) —“Please rush me a copy of Dr. Chang’s Book of Internal Exercises by Dr. Stephen T. Chang! I enclose $29.98. I understand that I may examine this revolutionary new book for one full year, since I am fully protected by your 100% No-Risk Double Guarantee shown at left.” (Instant Improvement) —“This 3-Volume Desk Reference Set is yours free when you look into Britannica and your Group Discount. And there’s no obligation to buy anything.” (Encyclopedia Britannica) Writing the opening paragraph If you have been writing all day and still are not satisfied with your opening paragraph, try one of these no-fail ideas: * Offer Wisdom. Examples: “Why should you...Buy Parmesan cheese with the rind attached? (It will help keep the cheese fresh.) Coat batter-fried chicken or fish a good hour before cooking? (The batter will stay on better!)” (Reader’s Digest) “Words, not numbers, are the true currency of business. The words we use every day have a life-altering impact. The right words bring you success and everything you want in life -- the wrong ones, poor results and failure.” (Nightingale Conant) * Tell a Tale. Examples: “On an autumn day, not too long ago, sociologist Robert Harner visited the Great Serpent Mound of Ohio. As he stood on this sacred Indian ground, the air was oddly still—not even a breeze.” (Time-Life Books) “My name is Morton Shulman. I am a practicing medical doctor. I am also a multi-millionaire. I didn’t make my millions by practicing medicine, though. I made them by investing in my spare time.” (Hume Publishing) “The year is 1865. Across a Virginia meadow, two armies face one another in a battle to the finish.” (Time-Life Video) * Offer the Facts. Examples: “The Greenland Eskimos ate more fat than anyone in the world. And yet...they had virtually no heart disease.” (Rodale Press) “Studies in every industry and profession show that people who are good communicators advance faster and earn more money. No other skill counts more for your career success.” (Communications Insights) Linda Westphal is a freelance copywriter who works with advertising agency creative professionals, business owners and other marketing professionals from her office in Sacramento, California. She can be reached at Linda Westphal Copywriting, P.O. Box 2033, Citrus Heights, CA 95611, (916) 752-5443, E-mail: LindaWestphal@earthlink.net, or visit her Web site at www.lindawestphal.com |
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Linda Westphal |